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October 23, 2004

青い鳥

青い鳥というのは、大抵探している人の身の回りにいるものである。

何を隠そうワタシはついこの間、30代のオタ男が理想の女性を求めてさまよい、ロボメイドなんぞにうつつを抜かすが、最後に隣に棲んでる同い年の腐女子こそが本当の青い鳥であった、ということに気づくという小説を構想した。これは見事に版元にダメ出しをくらったのだが、それでも青い鳥は常に身近にいるのだ、という信念を変えることはなかった。

人は自分を過大評価も、過小評価もせずに等身大に見ればいいのである。そうすれば必ず身の丈にあった青い鳥が見つかる。実社会経験のないオタは自分を過大評価して破滅するし、妙に世慣れてしまったヤツは過小評価し過ぎて自分の価値をデフレさせる。若い頃は多少過大評価ぎみの方がいい結果を招くが、そろそろ中年に差しかかろうという時期になってもなおかつ根拠のない自信のみに満ちあふれていると、過剰に自分を卑下し続けてきた人物と同じ末路を歩む可能性が高い。

とまあ、柄にもない真面目なことをなぜ言い出したかというと、それはワタシの脳内にある「実写版まうみん」のキャスティングがきっかけになってのことであったりする。

これまで、まうみんパパ、まうみんママ、うろーれんなどのキャスティングを一方的に発表してきたワタシだが、肝心な主役のまうみんを誰にするかを思いつかなかったのである。さすがに、うろーれんの候補をエマ・ワトソンにしたから、短絡的にまうみんをハリポタ役のガキにしようと考える程ワタシの脳は腐ってない。第一ハリポタ役は高校の同期でさるIT系企業に勤める○芝にそっくりなので、「かわいい」などとは口が裂けても言えないのである。

で、数日前BSかなんかでヴィスコンティのダメ人間映画「ベニスにシスの暗黒卿」…じゃない「ベニスに死す」をやってたんで、噂に高い絶世の美少年であるビョルン・アンドレセンの顔を拝んで、まうみんの候補になるかどうか検討してやろうか、と思ったのだが、「子供がまだ寝てないのにこんなダメ映画見るやつがあるか」と嫁に電源を抜かれてしまった。

これでもうワタシのまうみん探しの旅も終わりか、と思って床に付くと、来月三つになる長男がごそごそと這い寄ってきて、むにゅーっとほっぺたをワタシの顔に押しつけた。その感触はちょっと冷たい大福のようで非常に心地よい。

その瞬間、ワタシの脳裏に電光のようにひらめくものがあった。「そうか青い鳥はこの場合でも最も身近なところに居たのか」。確かに長男は千人に一人といっていい極上のほっぺたの持ち主であるし、下半身丸出しにして家の中を走り回るのが大好きでもある。多少年齢的に若い気もするが、まうみん役としては最適任である。

よし決めた息子よ。お前は今後まうみんとして生きろ。取り敢えず色気づいたら幼稚園とか小学校でハーマイオニーみたいな女の子をモノにしてこい。父は期待している。

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Comments

そんな、自分のご子息にそんな修羅の道を歩ませようとは...

ちなみに「青い鳥」というのは、下手に気負っても出てこないで、意外なところから現れるということを、小生実感しております。このままハマってしまっても、もうええわという気分ですが「鉄」作戦の遂行には大いに障害になる恐れが。

Posted by: 山崎賢一 | October 24, 2004 04:59 AM

「青い鳥」は所詮青い鳥でしかないのですが、大事にしてるとそのうち火の鳥を産んでくれたりすることもあります。

教訓:嫁が美人であるより娘が美人である方が10倍うれしい。

Posted by: 高安 | October 27, 2004 11:50 AM

しまったー、そういうことだったかーっ。
といっても、今からそこまでは見当つきまへん...。

とりあえず、足元を固めるのを先決とします。
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